American Music Award
Selasa, 05 Februari 2008
7:58 p.m. NASCAR is the lead-in for the AMAs, clearly a Hail Mary pass to get some viewers. Also, there are performers from last year's show who will not be on tonight in the ad listing "10 reasons to not miss tonight's show," which is another troubling sign. And wait, isn't Celine supposed to be performing too?
8:00 p.m. Fergie and will.i.am start the show. will.i.am is already getting bleeped! And he's wearing a top hat as he does the robot next to this poorly miced performance of "Fergalicious."
8:01 p.m. Will Fergie at least give will.i.am a chance to flog his record? Apparently not, because he's walking offstage.
8:02 p.m. The intro to "Clumsy": "I'm gonna take you way back ... to when I was in high school." Also: I have officially cooled on this song. Blame the Maya Rudolph spoken-word breakdown.
8:03 p.m. She is scatting the intro to "Big Girls Don't Cry." Will everyone get to do one verse of three songs? Have the AMAs' producers taken their attention-span cues from the VMAs?
8:04 p.m. Serenitaaaaayyyyy.
8:05 p.m. Kate and I agree: Fergie is putting in a caliber of performance that is at least worthy of a high school talent show. It's no Martika on public access, but she did have the advantage of lipsyncing. And that weirdo host. Who is much, much more charismatic than Jimmy Kimmel.
8:07 p.m. will.i.am gets his chance to flog his record! But it's in big letters behind him that read like they say "will.i.am thugs-n-harmony." And he can't sing. And his target demo is probably distracted by the prominent nipples on the mannequins he's performing in front of.
8:07 p.m. Is there live Vocodering??
8:08 p.m. Jess: "It's like Wyclef and Jermaine Dupri had the most annoying baby ever. This guy has less talent than Pras."
8:10 p.m. And continuing the "Interscope Records Would Like You To Care About its Artists Again" theme, it's Nicole Scherzinger, who apparently borrowed Fergie's dress backstage. She is singing "Baby Love" and imploring the crowd to The crowd is not so into the waving.
8:11 p.m. Not the Scherzinger head-voice! Noooo!
8:13 p.m. Jimmy Kimmel is hosting drunk. And he didn't write any jokes! The rest of the world has to sit through "made up crap," and he's going to entertain you with his dancing ability.
